Child, let's talk about sex

Yo, I don't think we should talk about this
Come on, why not?
People might misunderstand what we're tryin' to say, you know?
No, but that's a part of life)

Come on

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex

          I could think of no better way to start this post than with this Salt 'n' Pepa song. There is this new show called Blackish on ABC (good show hopefully they don't get cancelled before their second season) and one episode the father is having trouble having "the talk" with his son. He gets all sweaty and anxious since he doesn't know how to have this very crucial and life changing discussion with his son; his father never really gave him one (he just left a box of condoms by his bedside). Anyways, it got me thinking, I never got a sex talk from my parents and I asked my friends and one of them laughed and said which Nigerian or to be more general African parent has the talk with their kids. It is so funny because my mom and I are incredibly close and we have a wonderful relationship but there are just somethings we never talk/talked about. The closest thing to a talk I ever got from my mum was when I started my period and all she said was, "you're a woman now, don't let any boy/man touch you or else you will get pregnant!" Now that instilled fear into my life, obviously I knew she didn't mean literally touching me but there was no explanation on what went where. I spent my formative years in a very strict catholic boarding school and you obviously do not expect nuns to show us how to put a condom on a banana and sex education is not a topic they teach in Nigerian high schools (the last time I checked).
         
          Every summer (till I was 15) I went for this program called GGGG( God's Girls Going for Gold) well the name says it all and we were taught our bodies had three zones: red,orange and green. The red was never to be touched which was the bosom and the genitalia; the orange - the waist, the knees and thighs; the green were the hands. Red as suspected screamed danger, orange - be careful they are heading into dangerous territory; green was the accepted place members of the opposite sex could touch. So equipped with my zones and my pregnancy talk that was all the sex talk I got. Thinking of it my dad attempted to have one with me, it got so awkward I stopped it before it began and told him my mum had already covered it, of all the awkward conversations we have had that definitely makes the top 5 list.

      Now I have had my share of embarrassing moments, and I shall unravel them occasionally. When I was a fourteen, my friend and I were strolling home and decided we needed some candy. We entered this nice store bought some cookies and at the counter we saw some items (that looked very much like candy) on display. They came in various flavors and we were just browsing through the eclectic favors trying to decide which one we wanted (we were even discussing the merits of the strawberry favor). We asked the cashier how much they were and when he told us, we told him they were quite pricey and that's when he told us "that's because they aren't candy." Thank God for gold circle commercials, I might just have asked, "so what are they then?"  We realized we had been holding condoms and the whole store had heard our conversation about strawberry and vanilla, it was beyond embarrassing. I haven't been to that store since that day.

      It is hilarious that most of my friends (from similar backgrounds) got the same, "if you get pregnant, find your way to the boy's house" talk which really worked wonders. I used to think that if they explained everything to me, the candy situation wouldn't have happened but on second thought maybe the talk we got helped us. We live in an oversexed society and maybe that was their way of keeping us from conforming to society, but I think there should still be a dialogue along the line about it. Sure, when I have my daughter she would get the pregnancy fear speech and go to GGGG and my son will get the "if you get her pregnant, I'll cut that thing off" speech, but at one stage they will get the sex is a great responsibility and always respect yourself and the other person's speech.
So my dears, play safe or don't play at all (that sounds like a line from a Trojan commercial).


Always,
Seunla



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